Statting up the Cloak of Elviskind - a d30 Community Project

About four years ago or so, on a Giant in the Playground forum, someone came up with a Cloak of Elviskind as a goofy magic item (amongst many others - check it out here) and that set me thinking - what special effects could it have? I thought I'd kick things off with a few suggestions and see if we could expand it to a d30 table for this coolest of magic items.

Thank you very much!

EDIT - the Cloak is made of white satin and is decorated with rhinestones. To activate a power, the wearer must press a rhinestone, swivel his hips and utter the command phrase "Uh-huh!"

2nd EDIT - yay! We have our 30! Thanks to everybody who contributed - expect a pdf anytime soon.

1. Hound Dog - the wearer can summon a war dog that will fight for them for 1d12 turns or until killed

2. All Shook Up - an earth tremor hits a 100 square foot area around the wearer, causing everyone to save vs DEX at -5 or be flung to the floor.

3. Always on my Mind - the wearer is able to maintain a telepathic link with a chosen subject until that person is killed or the cloak is removed.

4. Way on Down - the wearer will be able to teleport 1d6 levels further down in any dungeon at will.

5. Blue Hawaii - the wearer is able to summon ice blue drinks that taste vaguely of coconut, one per party member. The drinks are liquified iron rations.
(Matthew W. Schmeer)

6. In the Ghetto - the wearer is able to dissolve grief associated with a loved one's death.
(Matthew W. Schmeer)

7. Blue Suede Shoes - the wearer is able to calmly respond to any taunts and dangers and will be calm and collected throughout any battle, automatically sensing the correct path of action. However, if anyone steps on the wearer's foot, he goes into berzerker mode and gains all the attack and save bonuses of a berzeker two levels above the wearer's current level for the remainder of the combat encounter. This effect can only happen once a month.
(Matthew W. Schmeer)


8. Viva Las Vegas - wearer gains +10% to all gambling attempts while clothed in the Cloak of Elviskind. Additional percentage advantages for gambling may be added at the will, discretion of the GM. Also entitles wearer to one free drink per game round from the house (Casino/tavern) while gambling.
(Chris Creel)

9. Promised Land - wearer and his companions may be teleported at will to their home base at will once per month. Cloak of Elviskind grants wearer a +1 to their Charisma stat when traveling on a Holy Quest or in search of a religious artifact or location.
(Chris Creel)

10. Jail House Rock - grant wear and companions release from jail, dungeon or other holding facility once per game month through political influence (increased Charisma), mistaken identity (charm person or group), prisoner release/ pardon program or other circumstances determined by GM.
(Chris Creel)

11. Don't be Cruel - all evil creatures who come within 10 feet of the wearer will experience a sudden alignment shift to Neutral Good. This lasts only as long as they are in the area of effect.
(Daddy Grognard)

12. Return to Sender - ranged attacks & spells targeted at the cloak's wearer are redirected back at the attacker. This effect only works once for each 'sender' each day.
(sevenelves)

13. Girls! Girls! Girls! - the wearer of the cloak can summon 3d4 young women in varied revealing outfits. These girls have no special powers or weapons other than their natural charms.
(sevenelves)

14. "only fools rush in..." - the cloak-bearer may sacrifice a temporary point of WIS to immediately seize the initiative in a combat. The WIS restores itself 1d3 hours later. Note the potentially addictive nature of this power, given that each time the wearer gives up some Wisdom, giving up even more Wisdom seems like a better and better idea.
(Erik aka VectorSigma)

15. Mean Woman Blues - Upon donning the Cloak he cloak-wearer finds a word stitched into the inside layer in thread of reddish-gold. Upon saying this word aloud, either a marilith or a succubus (DM's choice, according to party strength) is gated into a spot directly in front of the wearer. The entity is probably very irritated, to say the least...
(Nation)


16. "...Has Left The Building." -- Wearer and 3 closest Lvl 0 henchmen automatically teleport to the mouth of the current dungeon.
(Justin S. Davis)


17. Love Me Tender - The wearer is transported to a room at the local inn that is already occupied with a lovely lass. Roll on Random Harlot Table.
(Matthew W. Schmeer)


18. Suspicious Minds - The wearer is able to cast true seeing without material components. The spell lasts 2 minutes per level of the wearer.
(Matthew W. Schmeer)

19. (Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear - The wearer is transformed into a child's teddy bear for 1d12 days. During this time, the wearer is sentient and will retain all memories of what she has seen and heard and is also protected from detect magic and true seeing spells.
(Matthew W. Schmeer)


20. Hard Headed Woman - The wearer suffers a -5 to hit any female combatant wearing a helm.
(Matthew W. Schmeer)


21. '68 Comeback Special - The wearer and up to 68 allies are automatically transported to the Comeback Inn in Blackmoor.
(Matthew W. Schmeer)

22. (Marie's the name of) His Latest Flame - the wearer has somehow attracted the amorous attentions of a female fire elemental who is now intent on proving her love - by showering him with gifts (typical of the Elemental Plane of Fire) and 'protecting' him from harm - unfortunately she is rather over-zealous when it comes to interpreting the concept of 'harm'. She will be very difficult to dump but if the wearer does so, she will switch her attentions to another member of the party and bear the wearer deep enmity.
(Daddy Grognard)

23. You're The Devil In Disguise - Wearer may appear as a barbed devil (as per change self).
(satyre)

24. Poison Ivy League - Wearer is the centre of an outbreak of poison ivy (as entangle spell; those who fail must make a save vs. poison or be -2 to hit until they next bathe).
(Satyre)

25. Any Way You Want Me (That's How I Will Be) - on encountering a new monster or creature, the wearer will immediately polymorph into an attractive female version of that monster (or male, if the monster is female). The monster will be very taken with its new friend and will react favourably to any requests made of it. However, the monster will also be keen to take the friendship further - if you know what I mean. Any consequences of intimacy whilst in the monster form will condemn the wearer to remain thus until it has given birth.
(Daddy Grognard)

26. Are You Lonesome Tonight? - The wearer can summon a familiar for 1d12 days. Roll 1d10 on the SRD familiar table.
(Matthew W Schmeer)

27. It's Now or Never - The wearer has a 95% chance to convince others to listen to and follow his plan of action .
(Matthew W Schmeer)

28. Surrender - If the wearer brandishes his weapon, his enemy immediately capitulates.
(Matthew W Schmeer)

29. Kentucky Rain - the wearer may cast rain of fire without material components.
(Matthew W Schmeer)

30. Crying in the Chapel - The wearer can cast resurrection without the required material components.
(Matthew W Schmeer)