Wednesday 21 September 2011

Bad Medicine

Here's another Community Project. The travelling medicine show, although popular in the late 19th century would, I should imagine, have its analogy in the D&D world. Despite the presence of clerics and other healers - with whose treatment might come spiritual or theological attachments - the travelling potion peddler would expect no other payment than the metallic variety.


Usually, the bottles contain little more than coloured water and a touch of something to make it taste unpleasant, but sometimes, the potions actually work - although not in the way that the manufacturer intended. Sometimes, these bottles turn up in places other than the potion seller's wagon.


Suggestions are therefore sought for potions and concoctions that, whilst seemingly harmless or at the very most mildly discomforting, may have side effects that cannot, at the time of drinking, be anticipated. Name, effect, duration, cost and a few words on the colour and taste are what we need here.

It could be a d30 table or, if we get particularly creative, get bigger than that.

So far, we have....


Priapic Vigor:

Thick amberish liquid said to increase male sexual performance (allegedly made from extract of satyr musk, and other natural ingredients). 40% of the time it does absolutely nothing, 20% of the time it may cause priapism, and 20% of time the imbiber will be distracted for 1d4 hours due to recurrent thoughts of lascivious encounters and there prowess therein. Cost: 2-8 sp.

(Trey)


Dwarf Balm:


This jar of purpilish-brown grease emits a noxious odor similar to simmered Assassin Vine and is sold mainly as a unguent to salve minor cuts and abrasions. However, when rubbed on the belly or under arms, the balm has a 1 in 6 chance of increasing a dwarf's height by 3 feet for 1d6 days.

Of course, if this does happen to a dwarf, how will he fit into his armor?

Cost: 10-15 sp

(Matthew W. Schmeer)



"Your love is like a bad medicine" potion.


Upon imbibing this tasty peach-coloured solution, the PC will begin to feel queasy and ill whenever in the presence of someone who is in love, has a crush on, flirts with or is a family member on good terms with them.

The effect lasts 2d4 days, during which they receive -2 to all defenses while around loved ones or romantic interests.

(Janus)


Cap'n Jax Original Gargling Tonic

This shimmering sapphire-blue liquid, said to be based on the original elderberry vinegar formulae perfected by the legendary Cap'n Jax Ironshodson of the King's Expeditionary Force, is a powerful cleanser guaranteed to soothe a sore throat and clear mucus from your membranes.

There is a 2-in-6 chance (1-2 on 1d6) that an adverse reaction will render the user mute and turn the tongue pitch black for 2d6 days.

Cost: 20-25 sp.

(Matthew W Schmeer)



Doktor Bezoor's Linament


This noisome-smelling beige tincture is made to an exacting recipe. If applied to a poisoned wound within 3 rounds of the wound being made, it gives a second saving throw vs. Poison at a -4 penalty. It also depilates, removing all hair or fur from the wounded in 1d6 hours. This latter effect has ensured that Doktor Bezoor or his customers will never drink with a dwarf and live.
Cost: 100gp per jar (10 applications)

(Satyre)


Dr. Perrywinkle's Esoteric Pineapple Periplaneta Extract (Revised)

This light brown fluid tastes surprisingly good, like chocolate with a fruity note. The drinker will be compelled to drink more. However, everyone who drinks more than one bottel in the course of 24 hours will develop a mild form of light sensivity (-1 to all rolls in broad daylight).
Cost: 1 gp per bottle, 5 gp for six bottles

(RorschachHamster)


Nizzzle Lozenges

These dark amber disks are the size of a human thumbnail and taste of fenugreek and anise. Said to increase sluggish blood and cure digestive ills, they do just that, but also turn the user's skin a silvery-blue for 1d6 days. If used for more than 3d6 times in row, the effect will be permanent and require a remove curse spell cast by a cleric (and only a cleric) of at least 2.5 times the sufferer's level.

Cost: 17 sp.

(Matthew W Schmeer)

9 comments:

  1. Folks all across the kingdom are saying goodbye to that bald spot with the amazing...

    Hair Restoration Potion

    Potion has no effect for 1d3 days, at which time the drinker will grow thick hair all over his/her body. Imbiber may be accidently confused with a werewolf. Hair lasts 1d6 days at which time it slowly begins to fall out over the course of a week.

    Hucksters charge between 10-20gp. The liquid is a thick red syrupy liquid tasting off strawberries with a bitter afteraste.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great idea! I dabbled in this arena for the City with Professor Crowe & Ugly Bird. Anyway, here's a suggestion:

    Priapic Vigor: Thick amberish liquid said to increase male sexual performance (allegedly made from extract of satyr musk, and other natural ingredients). 40% of the time it does absolutely nothing, 20% of the time it may cause priapism, and 20% of time the imbiber will be distracted for 1d4 hours due to recurrent thoughts of lascivious encounters and there prowess therein. Cost: 2-8 sp.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I particularly like this kind of thing if it opens up areas of gameplay that are otherwise unavailable. This might include shrinking PCs to a size small enough to enter an area, changing their perceptions to reveal an ethereal dungeon, or causing them to switch bodies with someone a thousand miles away.

    Given the level of paranoid caution I'm accustomed to seeing in PCs, though, I'd be very reluctant to do anything that humiliated the characters, or endangered them without clear chance for reward. Paranoid caution is well and good until it is the correct answer in all cases. =)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dwarf Balm:
    This jar of purpilish-brown grease emits a noxious odor similar to simmered Assassin Vine and is sold mainly as a unguent to salve minor cuts and abrasions. However, when rubbed on the belly or under arms, the balm has a 1 in 6 chance of increasing a dwarf's height by 3 feet for 1d6 days.

    Of course, if this does happen to a dwarf, how will he fit into his armor?

    Cost: 10-15 sp

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Your love is like a bad medicine" potion.

    Upon imbibing this tasty peach-coloured solution, the PC will begin to feel queasy and ill whenever in the presence of someone who is in love, has a crush on, flirts with or is a family member on good terms with them.

    The effect lasts 2d4 days, during which they receive -2 to all defenses while around loved ones or romantic interests.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cap'n Jax Original Gargling Tonic

    This shimmering sapphire-blue liquid, said to be based on the original elderberry vinegar formulae perfected by the legendary Cap'n Jax Ironshodson of the King's Expeditionary Force, is a powerful cleanser guaranteed to soothe a sore throat and clear mucus from your membranes.

    There is a 2-in-6 chance (1-2 on 1d6) that an adverse reaction will render the user mute and turn the tongue pitch black for 2d6 days.

    Cost: 20-25 sp.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Doktor Bezoor's Linament
    This noisome-smelling beige tincture is made to an exacting recipe. If applied to a poisoned wound within 3 rounds of the wound being made, it gives a second saving throw vs. Poison at a -4 penalty. It also depilates, removing all hair or fur from the wounded in 1d6 hours. This latter effect has ensured that Doktor Bezoor or his customers will never drink with a dwarf and live.
    Cost: 100gp per jar (10 applications)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dr. Perrywinkle's Esoteric Pineapple Periplaneta Extract (Revised)

    This light brown fluid tastes surprisingly good, like chocolate with a fruity note. The drinker will be compelled to drink more. However, everyone who drinks more than one bottel in the course of 24 hours will develop a mild form of light sensivity (-1 to all rolls in broad daylight).
    Cost: 1 gp per bottle, 5 gp for six bottles

    ReplyDelete
  9. Here's a final one to round this out to a d6 table:

    Nizzzle Lozenges
    These dark amber disks are the size of a human thumbnail and taste of fenugreek and anise. Said to increase sluggish blood and cure digestive ills, they do just that, but also turn the user's skin a silvery-blue for 1d6 days. If used for more than 3d6 times in row, the effect will be permanent and require a remove curse spell cast by a cleric (and only a cleric) of at least 2.5 times the suffer's level.

    Cost: 17 sp.

    ReplyDelete