Okay, so it's very unlikely that these two guys would ever face up in their natural surroundings. But this is Saturday Night Fight Club and we can do anything!
In the grey corner, face like granite and body to match, a slab hewn of the hardest elements, it's...
Rocky the Stone Giant
Ignore the bear, he's just there for moral support (and he's brought the Doritos)
HD 9 + 1-3 which makes an average of 42
No of atts 1
Dam per attack 3-18
Special attacks Rock Hurling for 3-30 hit points
90% chance of catching a rock hurled against them.
In the green corner, with more branches than Wal-Mart, his bark is definitely worse than his bite, it's...
Woody the Treant
Just look what he did to the last person who tried to take him on.
HD 7-12 average of 41 hp
No of attacks 2
Dam per attack depends on hit dice
Woody weighs in at a hefty nine hit dice, which means that he'll have a THAC0 of 12.
Pretty evenly matched? Well, that's what we're here to find out.
Ding ding, Round 1
We’ll let Rocky have a round of rock throwing at Woody as he comes in to attack
Rolls 12, which means it’s a hit, if only just. Does damage of 12.
Okay, both contenders close for action. Let's see what they roll on their reactions.
Woody rolls a 2, Rocky rolls a 1
Woody gets 18 and 14 to hit, doing 3d6 of damage with each - 9 with the left hook, 16 with the right.
Rocky whams Woody with a 19 – good hit. 10 damage
End of round 1 and as the two contenders retire to their corners, let's see how their hit points stack up.
Out come the contenders, d6 in hand, ready to roll those reactions. Woody gets a 5, Rocky rolls a 1. Woody is fast as lightning this round. Will he make it count?
He lets fly with those fists again, check those to hit rolls out, 18 and 15.
Damage of 12 and 11. Damn – that’s 23 in total – Rocky is down for the count.
Hell, that was a short one. Those fists are just too lethal at close quarters.
Let’s see if it runs a little differently second time around.
Rocky hurls his boulder. Rolls a 12 to hit, again. Check the damage - 17 this time.
Rocky and Woody roll their d6s and both attack at the same time.
Rocky rolls a 4 – missed and no damage to Woody
Woody rolls 13 and 16 – bang, both fists make contact. 13 and 9 damage. That’s 22! Talk about a double whammy!
End of round 1 - back into their corners for a sponge and a pep-talk from their trainers.
Rocky rolls a 5 and with a 2, Woody goes second.
Rocky swings into action but with a 9, he misses.
Woody replies with 4 and 10 – he’s punching air this round.
Round 3 - let's hope that there's a bit more accuracy this time.
Reaction rolls first, and Woody gets a 2 to Rocky's 1. Stone doesn't exactly move quickly and Rocky is no exception.
Woody lets fly with a 15 and a 7. One fist hits Rocky for 12 damage. Rocky returns the favour but with a 3, Woody dodges it easily and avoids the blow.
End of round 3 and the combatants are down to
Round 4 – this fight is going on a lot longer than the first one. Looks like the fans are getting their money's worth tonight.
Out with the d6s again, a roll and Woody beats Rocky by 4 to 3.
Woody swings those fists but Rocky is a bit too quick for him (for once). 7 and 6 don’t make contact.
Rocky replies – 5 – trees move in the wind and Woody is getting plenty of that from the stony one.
Seconds away, Round 5
The lucky d6 has not deserted Woody; 5 to Rocky's 4
Woody rolls to hit, aiming to get the killer blow. One good hit could finish this fight. His left gets a 3, misses completely but with his right, it’s a 15 and the wood thumps home. Let’s see what the damage is.
Exactly 8 damage. Rocky is on 0 hp. As he’s tottering on the brink of unconsciousness, let’s see if he hits.
3 – no, he’s well and truly seeing stars.
Well, the referee is not coming in to break this up. Reaction rolls show that Woody and Rocky both get their blows in at the same time. Surely this is the end for our stony friend?
With a 5, he just can’t land that blow. Woody comes in, both fists bunched, 15 and 5 – the left hand inflicts a terrible 12 points of damage and that finishes off Rocky. He hits the canvas like....er..a rock hitting canvas.
But what a contender! Let's hear it for the Fall of the Mountain King! When it came down to it, although they were evenly matched on armour class and hit dice, Woody had two hits to Rocky's one and with some terrible rolls, Rocky just wasn't able to land the blows when it counted, even with the concession of a boulder throw to get things going. This just goes to show how tough those walking trees really are - if you go down to the woods today, you're in for more than just a surprise, I can tell you.
Join us next week when the tough guys of the humanoid gang - trolls and ogres - take on the oldest of Old School monsters - Tyrannosaurus Rex!