Well, it's Battle of the Barbarians time and have we got a clash for you tonight. Fierce and bloody but not overlong - Lankhmar's champion versus the Hefty Hyborian himself.
I did try to scan in the picture in Deities and Demigods but it's quite close to the centre of the book and I was quite reluctant to bend back the spine enough to get a good copy, especially as it's a very good condition D&DG with Cthulhu and Melnibonean mythos in. So I thought that this Mike Mignola drawing might do instead.
AC3 – I’m assuming that this is with his DEX bonus factored in.
No of atts 2
Damage per att by weapon type
Height 6’ 11”
15th level fighter (ranger)
13th level thief
5th level bard (oh yeah, that’s so going to come in handy)
S 18(00) +3 +6
Bastard sword (8-14 (2d4+6)) and dirk (poignard or short sword) (8-14 (2d4+6))
2 atts per round (presumably with two weapons per attack)
Base THAC0 6 so to hit Conan he’ll need a 4 and with his strength bonus, it’ll be a 1, although his strength bonuses mean that he is almost certain to hit Conan, I’ll rule that a 1 will always miss. It’s either than or there’s no suspense whatsoever. And we wouldn’t want that, would we?
Good old Frank, he doesn't let us down.
S 18 +2 to hit, +4 damage
D 18 +3 reaction, -4 AC adjustment
Fighter level 13 THAC0 8 so to hit Fafhrd he’ll need a 5 or better, and with his strength bonus, that’ll be reduced to 3
Two attacks per round. I’ll rule that he gets the second attack in at the end of the round.
Thief level 7
Leather armour (well, loincloth, anyway) (base AC8, less DEX bonus = 4) , broadsword (2-8 + 4 damage = 6-12) , dirk (poignard or short sword) (6-12 (2d4+4))
I’m giving Conan the same weapons combo as Fafhrd to make things a bit more even. Since Conan was a dab hand with many weapons, I think it’s credible. Also, since Fafhrd is using two weapons per round, methinks the Cimmerian should do likewise.
Well, let’s see who dies first. Ah, wait, we are still using the ‘down to 10% of HP means they yield’ rule.
That means that Conan has to drop to 10, Fafhrd to 12.
With two such evenly matched contestants, it’s really down to the luck of the dice. That means the d20 of Doom could decide the match. Oh hell…
Both fighters have the same DEX so there’s no point adding the bonuses, they’d cancel each other out.
Fafhrd gets a 3, Conan a 1
First attacks, Fafhrd rolls a 6 and a 20 – as you will recall, we do operate the SNFC critical rule, so let’s see if it is. A 9 means double damage from that poignard. Good job he brought it with him.
12 damage from Greywand and 22 damage from Heartseeker, doing exactly what it says on the tin.
Phew! What can the shocked and bloodied Cimmerian do about that?
He rolls a 9 and a 13 – good hits, those. Let’s see what damage he manages to inflict on Nehwon’s finest.
9 and 11 damage. That’s not bad. Not quite up to what Fafhrd did earlier but nevertheless, we have yet to see their second attacks.
Fafhrd rolls first, although I’m deeming second attacks come at the end of the round and are more or less simultaneous, unless of course someone’s life depends on it.
12 and 10 for his hits, and for his damage, 9 and 8.
Conan rolls an 8 and a 9 for his to hits, and 10 and 7 for his damage.
End of that round and let’s look at where we stand hit point-wise.
Fafhrd is on 83
Conan is on 49 – he’s lost half his hit points in one round. That critical really left him reeling. Let’s see what round 2 has to offer.
This time, Conan comes whirling out and into action on a 6 and Fafhrd is caught on the hop with a 3.
15 and 4 means that the Cimmerian has two hits, and the damage from each is 11 and 6.
Fafhrd replies with a 9 and an 18. I was half-expecting another critical there. Given the damage that these two can do, two of those in one fight could be a real match-killer.
Greywand does 11 and Heartseeker slides home with 13. Why do I get the feeling that this fight is going to be over sooner rather than later?
Second attacks – Conan rolls first; 19 and 3 so his poignard thrust only just catches Fafhrd. Damage of 9 and 10 respectively.
Fafhrd’s second attacks (I’m tensing myself to see what the rolls are) yield rolls of 8 and 4. If anyone is interested, the first roll looked as if it was going to be another 20 but decided on the 8 instead.
The damage from Greywand is 12 and from Heartseeker 9.
At the end of round 2, who’s alive?
Crikey! End of Round 2 and it’s all over! The big Cimmerian has yielded. Seeing as how Fafhrd is Neutral Good, he’ll probably shake Conan’s hand and buy him a drink.
Well, let’s take a look at the numbers – Fafhrd had a good head start with an extra 20 hit points to his tally, and he did achieve that whopping critical in the first round. If he had started out with 100 hp, he’d be down to 27 at the end of round 2, and if Conan had not taken that critical, he’d be 11 points higher on 15. Closer, but it’s virtually certain that Fafhrd would have knocked him down to single figures or even minus figures the next round. The damage bonuses are only 2 higher but that makes the difference when there are four attacks thudding in each round and virtually no chance of missing.
I’m not sure what to serve up next weekend. I think I’ve used up most of the non-magical monsters in the Monster Manual and I might take a look at the Fiend Folio or Monster Manual 2 for inspiration. If anyone has any ideas as a combo they’d like to see, let me know and I’ll take a look at the stats.
As a postscript, and because I'm a big fan of miniatures, here's Fafhrd and the Grey Mouse as customised figures.